


A Mile, Could You Walk in My Shoes?

by Maredwill



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I am obsessed with the concept of sora literally feeling what riku feels for him sorry, I really just wanted a ton of soriku angst lmfao sorry, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Post-Kingdom Hearts III, Unrequited Love, Will have a happy ending, Witches, once I write it lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29147547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maredwill/pseuds/Maredwill
Summary: Thanks to a new foe, Sora feels, literally, exactly how Riku feels about him.Where do they go from here?++++++++Title from Face My Fears by Hikaru Utada
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 132





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This won't be that long, but I enjoyed writing this part I decided to post it before finishing the fic, but I promise I won't leave the fic unfinished, couldn't do that to you all and I already know the next part I want to write anyway.

Like all other messes Sora found himself in, it began because he didn't know when to say when. 

He wished they could have just fought a giant heartless and called it a day. Someone or something trying to kill him was familiar and easy to deal with. A witch that fed off of the emotional pain and chaos she caused? Neither of them had been prepared for that. Her goal hadn't been to kill them, or harm them, not physically. She wanted to _mess_ with them, feed off of their emotions until they were drained of them completely. Sora realized when she chose him as a target, looked at his open eyes and bleeding heart and determined him a feast. 

The illusions were what did him in. He tried to focus, tried to resist her mental games and let Riku's presence ground him but her sudden transformations from enemy to friend, Kairi, Riku, Namine, Goofy, Donald, were enough to throw him off, make him accidentally pull back his attacks if only for a millisecond while his brain adjusted. When she captured him was when everything went downhill.

Sora was disarmed and pinned to the wall in a flash, not able to summon his keyblade because of the black blue tendrils pinning his hands in place.

"Sora!" Riku charged in his direction and she grabbed him as well, intending to stop him from interfering with her meal, but her black eyes widened and turned away from Sora completely. 

"What is this?" The witch asked in awe, eyes trained on Riku in her grasp. She raised him higher in the air, another blue tendril snaking out of her chest towards him. "I had the wrong one all this time," she said with a cackle. "He was so loud, I almost didn't notice the vastness you were hiding." Then, the blue tendril shot forward into Riku's chest. 

Red light was being pulled out of him, gathering in an orb in the middle of the room, the witch cackling.

"Yes, yes. This will feed me for a very long time." 

"Let him go!" Sora pleaded, pushing against his bindings, trying to bring her attention back to him to no avail. Even though she still had him pinned, her attention was completely focused on the growing orb, eyes glowing ravenously. 

She cackled again and Riku groaned as the tendrils around him seemed to tighten. "You dare to resist me? How cute. It is pointless. You cannot hide your emotions from me."

He opened his eyes and looked at Sora, determined gaze sending his message loud and clear. However Riku was resisting it was distracting the witch, more of her energy being diverted to her current prey and not her forgotten one, buying them time.

Sora could feel the tendrils weaken the slightest bit, and he focused on trying to maneuver his hand. He tried to stay calm so he wouldn't alert her. His friend needed him to be calm. 

Riku groaned loudly and the witch let out a growl of frustration, and he realized the crimson flow had stopped. 

"Don't you dare!" The witch yelled, one of the tendrils holding Sora down flying away and joining the other in Riku's chest, the siphoning of that mysterious crackling energy resuming. 

After that was a blur. Sora sliced through his hold and then sliced through her in one movement, the relentless surprise attack preventing her from attacking back or using any of her illusions. Riku fell to the ground and the two of them made quick work of her and she vanished, for good or to hide they didn't know, but the point was she was done torturing the innocent people of this world for now. 

The only thing left in the room was the red orb, still moving and buzzing with energy. Sora walked over to it and raised his keyblade.

"What are you doing?"

"This was yours, you need it back."

"No Sora wait-"

Still high on vindictiveness and the prowling need to eradicate every part of the person who hurt his friend, Sora didn't wait. He gestured with his keyblade and commanded it release, intending for the ball of emotions to go back into Riku. 

Instead, it exploded into a brilliant white light and Sora was bowled over with feeling. 

_Love, hate, fear, love, devotion, desire, pain, love, veneration, exhilaration, love love love, pain._

Sora fell to his knees and clutched at the ground with a gasp. His eyes were shut but everything was still too bright and he could feel the tears escaping his eyes. These feelings were Riku's. This was what the witch found inside him, this expanse of pain and love for...for...

_You._

The understanding slotted into place and let the final wave of emotions hit him and Sora thought he would buckle under the weight of it. He couldn't keep feeling this, it was too much, it was going to _break_ him. So much, how could it be so much?

Then it was over, the light gone and the room back to normal except for him trembling and gasping on the ground, head hung.

"Sora! Are you okay?" 

Riku ran over to him and Sora didn't understand how he could still walk, how he was functioning like nothing happen. Did he not just feel that? 

Of course he did. Those feelings belonged to him, he felt them all the time.

"Sora," Riku repeated, hand hovering but not making contact. "Are you hurt?"

The question made him laugh, voice still clogged with tears. No, yes, no. _You're the one that's hurt._

"What-" His voice croaked and he cleared his throat and licked his lips. "W-was...was that real?" He hated how scared he sounded. 

Sora was forced to raise his head when there was no answer. Riku was looking away from him, arms crossed and jaw working back and forth.

"Riku." The name came out like a soft plea. "Was that real?"

He looked down, silver hair obscuring his face. "Yes."

"You-"

"Yes."

The single word left no room for more questions. Sora peeled his hands from the floor and slowly stood, legs unsteady. Riku stood there, legs apart, looking off to the side, his whole frame stable and strong, the only visible shred of turmoil his avoidance of eye contact. 

Sora opened his mouth, to say what he didn't know. Why didn't you tell me? Why does it hurt? How long? Why...why?

"We should head back," Riku said tersely, not bothering to wait for agreement before walking toward the exit. 

There was nothing else to do but follow. His brain was reeling, thoughts flying through faster than he could catch them, his brain desperately trying to process all of the information just thrown at it. Only one refrain was able to project over the din as he stared at the resigned slope of Riku's back in front of him. 

_I'm sorry._

+++

As they flew, the rush of emotion peetered out, leaving confusion and a vague sadness in its wake. He looked over at Riku who had not looked back at him once since the...incident. Sora couldn't imagine what he was going through, having such a deep secret revealed in such a manner.

"If you have something to say-"

"Are you okay-"

They broke off and made eye contact for the first time. Sora got a brief glimpse of green eyes widening in surprise before they turned away again. His fingers twitched, begging to reach out. _Don't do that. Don't hide from me._ He said nothing. 

Riku expelled a breath and shook his head. "Why are you asking if I'm okay? You're the one who..." 

Neither of them had the words to describe what had happened.

"Yeah but," Sora chewed his lip. "You're the one who was...violated." After everything that was revealed to him it felt like the only word that could capture the situation. 

Riku shifted and clutched the controls tighter. "I guess."

Sora wanted more from him, wanted them to talk. He was about to ask for it when he stopped himself, horrified at the depths of his selfishness. He had just been given everything there was to know. Not given, that implied willingness. It was foisted upon him, or he had taken it, if not by accident, but Riku did not _give_ it to him. 

He didn't need more answers from Riku, more vulnerability. He needed to fix this going off of what he knew. He shut his eyes and thought back to what he felt, clutching the armrest as even the memory felt too overwhelming. He tried to sort through the myriad of emotions until he could figure out which one would help him fix this. 

_Fear._

His eyes flew open and he leaned over, trying to catch his friend's eyes to no avail. "I'm not mad." He leaned back, giving up on eye contact in exchange for boring holes into the side of Riku's head. "At all. I'm not upset with you, just the situation. But this isn't...I don't blame you for anything. For how you...felt." 

He settled on the past tense out of cowardice. He couldn't make sense of it in his mind, that Riku was sitting across from him right now with all of that intensity. Sora had thought he was going to collapse when he felt it, but Riku controlled it so well the witch didn't even know it was there until she grabbed him.

More shifting. "Okay."

"And I'm...sorry that I-"

"Don't." 

Any modicum of relaxing Riku had been showing was immediately erased, his body back to being one long, taught line. 

Sora thought about what he just said and cringed. If he was in Riku's shoes and just had a love confession forced out of him the very last thing he would want is an awkward pity rejection from said love interest. 

"Right," he said instead, facing forward again. He was brimming with a million questions, but one kept knocking incessantly at the forefront of his mind. He had already fucked up spectacularly, would asking really make anything worse?

"Riku." There was no answer, but Sora knew he was listening. He turned to face him again. 

"Does it really feel like that all the time?"

"Yeah," Riku answered, voice raspy and resigned. 

"H-how do you..." he didn't know what word he wanted. Deal with? Cope? Handle? They all sounded too infantile. "How do you bear it?"

There was a strand of silver hair just long enough to shield his profile from a prying gaze, and Sora was reminded of the time Mickey told him Riku's eyes couldn't lie. He desperately wondered what those green eyes would reveal to him if he could see them now. 

The only sound was the humming of the engine and their tense breathing. Eventually, Sora gave up on an answer. Riku didn't owe him this, he already knew too much. 

When he broke his gaze and faced forward again, trying to map out the route home in his mind as a distraction, one low, hoarse word finally filled the air.

"Practice, I guess."

Sora grasped the armrest and his view of asteroids and stars blurred with tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Comments give me motivation.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part Deux. Sora attempts to process everything that happened.

They didn't talk for the rest of the flight, and after they returned they gave the most clinical and uninteresting mission report, Sora for once resisting the urge to embellish details. He tried to avoid it when Yen Sid requested them, tell him they could do it later, but before he had the chance Riku headed straight to Yen Sid's office so Sora had no choice but to follow. He let Riku do the talking, supporting whatever story he wanted to tell being the least he could do. 

They needed to discuss what happened, but Sora didn't know how. Riku didn't want to talk about it and Sora couldn't blame him but how would they get past this if they didn't talk? Though he had no idea what he was supposed to say if they did end up talking about it, and he couldn't ask anyone for advice because the last thing he was going to do was reveal Riku's secret to anyone else. 

Sora pulled off his dirty gauntlets and threw them in the sink in frustration. Was this the thing that was going to destroy their friendship? It seemed so inconsequential after everything they'd been through. He gripped the sink and closed his eyes, the memory called up in an instant. Everything too raw, too intense, all his nerves igniting with feelings that weren't his. He remembered how he thought he was going to collapse from the magnitude, thought the emotions would fill his lungs and drown him. What Riku had been hiding was far from inconsequential. He also remembered the pain. Wrapped up in all of that too bright love was so much agony. Riku was in love and it was hurting him. 

He opened his eyes and straightened, staring at the mirror, taking in his reflection. Regular brown, messy hair falling into his face, plain blue eyes. He turned his head from side to side. There was nothing special about him, he was absolutely ordinary. He held his arms out in front of him. Probably less than ordinary with how short and wimpy looking he was. He didn't understand. Why was Riku going through all of that trouble for him of all people? Riku was smart and strong and talented and kind and did everything for him, and Sora was just...Sora. There was nothing about him deserving of that level of ardor. Or that level of misery. 

He clenched his hands into fists and dropped them to his side. _Who do you think you are?_ He felt the fury building in him. He stared down his reflection. _You are the one who put him through this? You are what he's hurting over? You?_

Suddenly, he slammed his fist into the mirror, the resulting crack and shattered reflection immensely satisfying. He did it again and again, delighting in seeing his image obliterated. 

_What gives you the right?_

He screamed, all his despair coming out in one long sound instead of words, hands clenched around the sink and head bowed, breathing heavy. He blinked away the tears burning his eyes. The irony of the situation was Sora would destroy anyone who tried to hurt Riku, his best friend, one of the most important people in the world, but he had been the one causing the pain all this time. What was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to fix this?

He groaned and shoved his hands into his hair, wincing at the twinge that lanced through his hand. He pulled it away and looked at it, noting distantly that all that blood and broken glass should probably hurt more than it did. He muttered a quick cure, and it removed the shards and scabbed over the cuts, but he could still feel the faint throb and knew it was already starting to bruise. It would need a second cure later, though something told him he wouldn't bother. 

His eyes burned again and he dropped to the floor, pulling up his knees and burying his face in his hands, hot tears leaking around his palms. Why did it have to be Riku? The person who had been there from the very beginning, looking out for him, going on adventures, dreaming with him. How long did he feel this way? How many of those sun soaked memories were tainted while Sora was none the wiser? It had to be a long time, the sensation he experienced from the orb reminded him of the deepest part of the ocean, no bottom in sight. Riku had always been there to offer a helping hand, or to challenge him, or to offer comfort when everything went wrong, and he went and messed it all up. They couldn't have any of that anymore. How was Sora supposed to accept all of those things as if he didn't know the price? He wished he could go back in time, tell his stupid self to leave the orb alone and go home before he created a disaster. He wished he could travel even further than that and tell his younger self to not break his best friend's heart.

_I'm sorry_ , he thought as a sob tore from his throat. _Riku I'm so sorry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't too disappointing. I think there's only going to be maybe like 2 or 3 parts after this.
> 
> You can follow me on twitter https://twitter.com/maredwill15


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These boys finally talk, and revelations are made.

Sora stumbled down the hallway of the Mysterious Tower, the light blue early morning light streaming through the windows illuminating his way. He was exhausted, had been for the past few days, the strain of avoiding Riku taking its toll. After everything he had been through, purposefully avoiding his best friend was the most difficult challenge. Every part of him was primed from years of friendship to seek Riku out, be near him, ask his opinion, and now he had to fight against what came naturally, but he had no choice. He hadn't been ready to face Riku, he didn't know what to say, how to apologize for the hurt he was causing, how they were expected to get past this.

But he couldn't take this anymore, three days of not speaking to Riku when he knew exactly where he was being three days too many. He also knew the longer he let this go on the better a chance he had at losing Riku for good. 

He walked into the kitchen and beelined for the cabinet, taking out their preferred mugs and setting them on the counter. His own filled with tea immediately but the other stayed empty, the tower unclear what he wanted. 

"Riku's coffee please," he said quietly, trying to respect the early morning atmosphere and hoping the tower would just cooperate for once. It seemed to take pity on him and it filled the cup without hesitation. He took both mugs over to the kitchen island and place Riku's across from his, closest to the doorway. Sora didn't want him to feel too cornered into the conversation, even though that's sort of what he was doing. 

They had automatically fallen into a system the past three days. Sora always got up later, so Riku was usually long gone by the time he made his way into the kitchen. Lunch and dinner were the same. It was ironic, the reason they could avoid each other so seamlessly. They knew each other well, knew when the other liked to eat, work out, where they liked to relax and who they usually hung out with, making it easy to leverage that knowledge to build an opposing schedule. They didn't even run into each other in the hallway by their rooms, though Sora could hear when Riku came and went from his room across the hall and sometimes he considered ripping open the door just to see him, though the urge died when he couldn't think of a single thing to say. Now he was finally breaking their silent agreement by being in the kitchen when it wasn't his turn. 

His head snapped up when he heard a small noise from the doorway, Riku's panicked gaze catching his for a brief moment before looking away. He didn't move or speak, body rigid and shoulders pulled up to his ears, looking like he was about to flee. 

"Wait," Sora said, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. He saw teal eyes followed the movement when he reached out and hovered his hand over Riku's mug. "Can we talk? Please?" 

Riku stayed standing for several long seconds until he let out a sigh, long and low, shoulders slumping forward. Sora couldn't process how resigned he looked as he took slow, halting steps toward the island. He never even looked this chagrined when disappointing Mickey. _Why for me?_

He sat down and wrapped his hands around the mug in front of him, still refusing to speak or make eye contact.

"I'm sorry," Sora started. He cut Riku off before he could protest. "Don't. Let me finished," His friend's mouth shut again and he continued. "I'm sorry for what happened back at the cave, I shouldn't have been so careless. You didn't deserve to go through that and I really am sorry for causing it."

Riku shook his head, eyes on his mug. "You didn't know."

Yeah, that was the problem. There was a lot he didn't know. 

"I'm still sorry," he said instead. He kept trying to get catch his gaze again but those green eyes were too practiced, too swift at maneuvering away. _I miss you. Please look at me._

"And I'm sorry about that too. About not knowing."

"Sora-"

"No. Let me just," he blew out a frustrated breath and curled his hands around his mug, taking a sip of his tea in the hope it would help ground him, but all it did was hit his stomach and make him feel ill. "This isn't a pity apology I...I'm genuinely sorry, that I didn't know. That this has been hurting you for this long."

Riku shook his head, hair falling forward and obscuring his face even more. "Like you said, you didn't know. You have nothing to apologize for. You didn't do anything, this isn't your fault, it's mine. I'm the one who's in-" he paused, stuttering over the words and swallowing them back. "who feels the way I do."

He still couldn't say it. Even though they both knew, even though Sora had learned it in a way words could have never expressed, it was still too painful for him to admit that he was in love. _With me._ That was the part Sora still couldn't understand. Why him? Why? How was he worth all of-

He shook his head, he needed to focus. "Don't talk about it like that," he said quietly. "You loving me isn't a fault." His heart clenched at the way Riku twitched at the word. "I don't want you to think that part of it is bad. The only part that upsets me is how it hurts you."

He waited for Riku to answer, or look up, or something, but he didn't, and Sora didn't know what to do except continue. He squeezed his mug tighter, using the pain in his hand to distract from his nerves. "Can we...do you still want to be friends?"

Riku finally looked up at that, teal eyes looking lost. "What? Sora that's up to you."

He leaned back in surprise. "Me? Why?"

Riku's gaze was intense, searching. "You're the one that would have to deal with knowing that...I'm in love with you," he ended quietly, words barely audible.

Still, it felt like progress. Like he felt safe enough to say it out loud. 

"I don't _care_ about that," Sora implored. He leaned forward, wishing he could reach out and provide comfort. "It doesn't bother me, I told you that. But I can't stand knowing that I'm hurting you. If us not being friends would help, would make it easier for you then that's what you should do. I don't want you putting yourself through this anymore for my sake."

Sora felt like Riku's eyes were drilling into his head, and he had to fight the urge to squirm. He needed Riku to know he was being honest. If their friendship ending was what he needed to move on, then Sora would accept that, regardless of how much it killed him. 

"Why do you keep saying that?"

He leaned back again, confused. "Huh? Saying what?"

"You keep mentioning that it hurts."

Sora racked his brain, trying to figure out where he lost the thread of this conversation. "I...because it does?" Did Riku not know that he felt _everything?_ "I felt it all, Riku. The pain too, I know what it's doing to you."

Riku tilted his head to the side, eyes drifting away in thought, his hand coming up to his chin. "You felt what she had taken," he said slowly, almost to himself, "but you didn't feel all of it."

That jolted Sora up straight, a small gasp escaping from his lips. He realized Riku was right. The witch had still been draining his emotions when Sora stopped her, which meant there was more he hadn't felt. The realization shook him. When those emotions had washed over him he thought he was going to collapse under the intensity, and Riku was telling him there was more? How much more could there possibly be? How much more agony was he causing?

"Wait Sora no, don't freak out." 

He opened his eyes, not realizing he had closed them in the first place, and he noticed Riku's hand stretched across the table as if he had been going to touch Sora and aborted the action halfway through. His eyes were burning, and he felt a lone tear sneak down his cheek. 

"There's more?" he croaked out.

"Yes but it isn't," Riku sighed and scrubbed both hands through his hair. "I'm trying to explain, it doesn't hurt me."

"Huh? But I felt-"

"You felt a part of it," Riku interrupted. "But there was more, and all of that isn't...it isn't painful. It feels...nice."

Sora gaped, not knowing how to coincide what Riku was telling him to what he knew he could still feel.

"Really," Riku insisted gently. "Yes, sometimes it makes me sad but mostly," his lips turned up in a small smile, "mostly it feels really good."

"T-then why...Riku I know what I felt!"

"I believe you." His smile disappeared and his face was looking at the table again, bent in concentration. "You didn't feel all of it, so it seems like the part she took was all pain, or mostly pain anyway. But what you're describing isn't what it feels like _to me._ Not anymore."

It was Sora's turn to look away, his head reeling, his mind trying to grab on to his racing thoughts. Could that be true? He wasn't constantly causing Riku pain after all? He wanted to believe him but-

"Are you sure? You're not just telling me this to make me feel better?"

Riku's smile returned as he shook his head and Sora felt his heart pounding away in his chest as if to answer it. _I missed you I missed you I missed you._

"No. What's the point in trying to have more secrets between us?"

"Wait," Sora said, one roadblock stopping him from accepting the truth. "When I asked you how you can bear it, what did you think I was talking about?"

Riku turned pink so dizzyingly quick Sora almost thought he hallucinated it. 

"Uh," he said, looking away again, out of embarrassment this time instead of fear. "I thought you meant, you know, how much I..."

It took Sora a second, but the lightbulb went off. "Oh." _Oh._ Riku thought he had only been talking about the _love_ part, thought that alone was strong enough to overwhelm him and make him react the way he had. 

Riku glanced at him and glanced away again, though he seemed to relax slightly when he saw Sora wasn't off-put by the news. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Are you...really okay with still being friends?"

Sora nodded eagerly, smile small but more genuine than it had been in days. "Yes," he said wholeheartedly. "Nothing can stop me from wanting to be your friend. I mean it."

Riku looked at him, soft and fond and with a sparkle that he could now identify as love, and he wanted to bask in the lightness it elicited in his chest, but then green eyes roamed down to the hand Sora was unconsciously holding out and the moment was ruined as all that fondness was wiped clean by concern.

"What happened to your hand?"

"Um," Sora yanked his hand back and held it against his chest. "Nothing. It's fine." The blue and yellow bruises and scrapes said otherwise, and they both knew it could be fine if he had bothered to heal it, but he hadn't. At the time, it had felt like a small retribution.

Riku reached out with the same hand he had earlier, leaving it open and hovering between them for Sora to take. "Let me."

Sora placed his hand in the rough, open palm and immediately green vines encircled it, taking all of the scrapes and bruising and residual sting away as they disappeared. It felt like starting over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! There is only one more part after this!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion!

After the conversation they had the other morning Sora and Riku were slowly going back to normal. There was still a bit of awkwardness between them while they tried to figure out how to act around each other but Sora did his best to dispel it. Especially because he still had more he wanted to say. 

Sora had done a lot of thinking since their talk. After he got over his worry about hurting Riku he was able to focus on the other Darkside in the room; Riku loved him, a lot, was in love with him. 

Without the storm of self-hatred and shock that had previously clouded his thoughts the idea now made a small smile appear on his face. Even though it still scared him he liked the concept. He could still call up the wave of emotions revealed by the witch and he pulled it up now, discarding the negative ones and focusing on the love, letting it warm from the inside out like a cup of hot chocolate. Sora had done this several times, pulled out this radiant orb of feeling and held it against his own, comparing and contrasting them to find his shown just as brightly. It took feeling Riku's emotions to help him make sense of his own and recognize them for what they were: a love that went far beyond platonic. 

What Sora felt wasn't exactly the same but it was close, much too close to be explained any other way, and the more he thought about it the more he knew it was true. No one had ever made him feel the way Riku made him feel, could infuriate and titillate him in equal measure. He never thought about anyone else or yearned to be around them as often as he did with Riku. Sora loved Riku and he wanted to be with him and just thinking it was a possibility made him feel like he was flying in Neverland for the first time

As happy as he was, he still couldn't bring himself to tell Riku. Partially because he was worried Riku wouldn't believe him and would think Sora was trying to absolve himself of his guilt, and partially because he was afraid of messing it all up. What if he wasn't good enough for Riku? Just because Riku loved him didn't mean he deserved it. Even though Riku had reassured him he didn't carry around all that hurt anymore, it meant he did at one point and Sora never wanted him to feel that way again. 

Sora had said their friendship could handle anything, but the truth was he didn't know if he could forgive himself if he told Riku he wanted them to be together and then couldn't love him the way he deserved. And Sora had felt how deeply Riku loved him, how long, but what if actually dating him was a disappointment? What if once they finally got together it was nothing like Riku expected and Sora couldn't live up to his fantasy? He knew why he loved Riku, his strength, his kindness, how smart and attractive he was, and how he always looked out for Sora and listened to him, but he still didn't know what he had done to make Riku feel that level of affection for him. 

The thought made him want to keep his feelings hidden forever, let them never move beyond friendship so he never had to risk Riku falling out of love with him. As tempting as it was he couldn't do that, Riku deserved better than that. After everything Riku had done for him the least Sora could do was be honest. Besides, things always worked out best for him when he followed his heart. He took a deep breath and steeled himself for what needed to be done.

++++

When Riku came back to the tower that day it took all of Sora's willpower to not accost him immediately, instead sending a text asking him to come to Sora's room when he had the chance. Soon enough there was a knock on the door and Riku slipped inside. 

"Hey, what's up?"

"Hey," Sora greeted, smiling and trying to not look anxious. "I wanted to talk to you." 

He knew he needed to tread carefully. He needed Riku to know he was sincere, that this wasn't a spontaneous reaction to Sora discovering his feelings. It felt like standing in front of that orb with Riku's emotions in it all over again, except this time Sora knew how fragile it was, how much was at stake, and he was going to handle it with the care it deserved. 

"Okay..." Riku said, making it clear Sora wasn't doing a great job at acting casual, but he sat on the bed anyway. 

Sora leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs and rubbing his hands together. "Okay," he said finally, sitting up fully and facing Riku. "Before I start, I want you to really listen to me, alright? I've been thinking a lot about what I'm going to tell you and I want you to know I'm serious and mean every word,"

Riku nodded, looking worried, but if he had any idea what this would be about it didn't show. 

"So, when I first found out how you felt about me, I was really angry. Not at you," Sora added quickly, already getting off to the wrong start. "At myself. At the whole situation. I was upset that everything happened the way it did and that you were hurt and had your privacy invaded like that, and the negative stuff was all I could focus on." He took a breath and looked away, his stomach roiling with nerves. "But after we talked it out, I was able to pay attention to other things, like how..." he inhaled again and looked back up, wanting to be looking Riku in the eye when he confessed. "Like how what I feel for you is really similar to how you feel about me."

Riku's eyes widened and he leaned back a little, clearly not knowing how to react. "What are you saying?"

Sora smiled softly, the way Riku looked cute and nervous at the same time making his stomach flutter. 

"I'm saying I love you too, Riku."

In an ideal world, Riku would have beamed with joy and pulled him into a relieved hug followed by a kiss, but nothing about their lives was ideal. Instead, Riku sat there, mouth opening and closing several times before he finally said, "You don't have to do this."

Sora had expected this, almost word for word. 

_Careful_ , he thought. _You need to be careful with him._

"I know I don't," he said gently. "This isn't some pity move. Remember what I said before? I'm serious, I've thought about this a lot. I want to be with you Riku. And you don't need to agree or decide now, but I _mean_ it. I would not have said it if I didn't mean it. I'd never do that to you, I swear."

Riku was still staring at him in shock, so Sora decided to continue.

"I've felt this way for a while but I didn't realize what it was until now. I didn't know how to put it into words or define it until I felt how you feel and learned what kind of love it is." 

Sora waited, giving Riku time to process and come up with a response. He wasn't going to be impulsive and careless this time around. 

Finally, Riku cleared his throat and spoke. "You really mean that?" It was only half a question, and the tentative surety Sora heard swept some of his nerves away.

"Yeah," he said plainly. "I do. I really, really mean it. I love you."

Riku shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck, blush apparent. "Sorry," he said. "You'd think I'm not happy with the way I'm acting. I am happy it's just..."

"Scary? Intimidating? Overwhelming?"

Riku let out a quiet laugh and nodded. "Yeah."

"It is for me too." Sora looked between them and slowly reached his hand out, curling it around Riku's. He never knew a simple gesture could feel so monumental. He brushed his thumb back and forth across the hand in his. 

"I know this is a lot, and you don't need to make a decision right now, you can take your time. But know that I really do love you," Every time he said those words they led to less anxiety and more joy, "and I want to be with you if you want to be with me."

Riku smiled softly, his blush darkening as he ducked his head. "You know I do," he said softly. 

Sora couldn't contain a little laugh as he scooted closer on the bed, squeezing Riku's hand. "We can go slow," he said, as much for his own benefit as for Riku's. He still felt like he was walking a tightrope over a massive canyon while holding a precious gem, and one wrong step would have both him and it falling off the side and crashing into the rocks below. 

Then, Riku squeezed his hand back and the distance felt a little shorter, his footing a little surer. "Yeah," Riku agreed. "We can figure it out." He looked down again, adjusting their hands until their fingers were threaded together, palms pressed together securely. "I love you too."

It was the first time Sora had heard him say those words like that, directed to him, for him to feel. He pulled Riku into a hug and suddenly he was on the ground, both him and his precious cargo safe in Riku's hold. 

Sora pulled back and looked up, and the thought that he could kiss Riku now crossed his mind. He wanted to, so badly, but it was too soon. As a compromise, Sora leaned up and left a light kiss along the flush on Riku's cheeks, laughing with delight when all that did was make it spread to the rest of his face. 

This thing between them was still new, and delicate, but they both cared about it, cared about each other, loved each other, and Sora knew that was all they needed to take on anything else that came their way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it folks! I enjoyed writing it and I hope you all enjoyed reading it even a little.


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